Demonology 101: The Screwtape Letters – 3rd Letter

The Battle Within Our Closest Relationships

In C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters, we get a unique glimpse into how the spiritual forces of evil, what Lewis calls “the devils”, try to sabotage our faith. In our examination of the third letter, Screwtape, a senior demon, advises his nephew Wormwood on how to exploit the everyday tensions and frustrations that come from living in close relationships, particularly between the patient (a newly converted Christian) and his mother. The lesson here? “The devils” don’t just go after the big stuff. Instead, they work tirelessly in the ordinary, day-to-day moments of our lives, often using our closest relationships as their playground.

The Small Annoyances Aren’t So Small

One of the key takeaways from this letter is that many of us don’t (commonly) commit the so-called “big sins” like lying, stealing, or murder. But we underestimate how powerful our smaller, mundane sins can be, especially when they affect the people closest to us, like family. Screwtape encourages Wormwood to create a “good settled habit of mutual annoyance” between the patient and his mother. He advises the demon to seize every little opportunity to build tension in the household: a look, a tone of voice, a small but constant irritation. Over time, these seemingly insignificant moments become significant enough to tear apart relationships and spiritual growth.

Have you ever felt irritated by something as small as the way someone chews their food or the tone they use when they ask you a question? Screwtape says the devils love to take these tiny frustrations and turn them into full-blown battles in our hearts and minds. The enemy uses these small conflicts to pull us away from love, patience, and kindness, and before we know it, we’ve built walls around ourselves.

Spirituality Isn’t Just Internal

Another tactic Screwtape suggests is to make the patient think of his faith as an entirely “internal” thing. He wants Wormwood to keep the man focused on his own spiritual condition, his thoughts, and his feelings, rather than turning outward to consider how his faith should affect his behavior toward others. This is the classic trap of becoming so introspective that we ignore the real needs and people around us.

Screwtape mocks this internalized spirituality by saying, “You must bring him to a condition in which he can practice self-examination for an hour without discovering any of those facts about himself which are perfectly clear to anyone who has ever lived in the same house with him.” In other words, the devils want us to be so focused on our own spiritual ideals that we become blind to the obvious, how we treat the people we live with every day.

How often do we examine ourselves in prayer but completely miss how we might be causing harm or tension in our closest relationships? The devils thrive when we focus on our spiritual checklist but fail to extend love and grace to the people around us.

The Danger of “Spiritual” Prayers

Screwtape doesn’t stop with internalized spirituality. He also encourages Wormwood to keep the patient’s prayers for his mother focused on lofty spiritual concerns rather than her actual, physical needs. It’s easier, Screwtape says, to get the man praying for his mother’s “soul” while completely overlooking her real struggles, like her rheumatism.

The devils want our prayers to be vague and spiritual because they know that if we pray for the actual needs of the people in our lives, our hearts will soften, and we’ll become more compassionate. Screwtape says, “You can keep rubbing the wounds of the day a little sorer, even while he is on his knees.” By focusing only on the spiritual and ignoring the tangible needs, we keep ourselves distanced from truly loving and serving the people God has placed in our lives.

The Devils Exploit Our Irritations

Screwtape’s final tactic is perhaps the most relatable of all: exploiting our personal irritations. He advises Wormwood to make sure the patient notices every little annoying habit his mother has, her tone of voice, her facial expressions and, her mannerisms, convincing him that she’s doing these things intentionally just to get under his skin.

How many of us fall into this same trap? When we live with someone long enough, we know exactly what pushes their buttons, and they know what pushes ours. The devils use this knowledge to turn small irritations into big fights. And in the end, both people feel justified in their anger, thinking, “I’m the victim here.” Screwtape calls this the “delightful situation of a human saying things with the express purpose of offending, and yet having a grievance when offense is taken.” It’s a vicious cycle, and the devils love it because it keeps us from living out our faith in the most crucial areas—our relationships.

What’s the Takeaway?

The biggest lesson from Screwtape’s 3^rd letter, is that our faith isn’t meant to stay in the abstract or internalized realm. Our walk with God should affect every area of our lives, especially our closest relationships. The devils will try to use the ordinary moments like the little annoyances, the daily interactions and, the frustrations to turn us away from love, patience, and forgiveness.

But here’s the good news: if the devils are this interested in disrupting our ordinary lives, it’s because they know how powerful our faith can be when it’s lived out in those moments. When we choose to respond to irritation with kindness, to pray for the real needs of those around us, and to look at others with grace rather than judgment, we’re pushing back against their plans.

So next time you feel that familiar irritation rising up, or when you’re tempted to withdraw into your own spiritual bubble, remember this: your faith is meant to shine in the ordinary, everyday moments of life. And in those moments, we have a choice, to either let the devils win or to lean into the transforming power of God’s love.

In the end, what good is a faith that doesn’t affect how we treat the people closest to us? Let’s strive for a faith that goes beyond the abstract and touches every part of our lives, blessing those around us and pushing back the schemes of the enemy.

Authors Note:

The Screwtape Letters may be a work of fiction by the renowned theologian and philosopher C.S. Lewis, but they serve as a powerful introduction to our exploration of demonology. As we dive deeper into this literary masterpiece, we gain a clearer understanding of how the demonic forces and malevolent powers in the spiritual realm truly operate in our lives, helping us sift through and dismiss the sensationalized portrayals that Hollywood often gives us of the demonic realm.